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Cute redneck quotes
Tall enough to theater on-footed and kiss a wide. If the Well had dictated us to fly, He would have prey us aluminum stalking. You may be a redneck if: He requirements the sun degree up just to meet him black. Low eat up with the dubm -ass.
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse. As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. Big hat, no cattle. Busier than a one-armed man in a fistfight. Busier than a one-armed paper hanger. Busier than a set of jumper cables at a Mexican funeral. Busier than a stump full of ants. Busier than ants at a picnic. Country fences need to be Cute redneck quotes high, pig tight, and bull strong. Crazier than a dog in a hubcap factory. Does a fat dog fart? Dubm er than a bag of hammers. Dubm er than a box of dirt. Dubm er than a box of rocks.
Even a dog knows the difference between being stumbled over and kicked. Every path has a few puddles. Faster than a jackrabbit on moonshine. Fat people are harder to kidnap. Flashy as a rat with a gold tooth. It messes up their heads. Happier than a june bug on a tomato plant. Happier than a pig in shit. Happier than a possum in the corncrib with the dog tied up. Happier than a puppy with two peters. He looks like three pounds of ugly in a two-pound sack. He ran like a scalded dog. He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow.
He went through that like Sherman went through Georgia. Her ass looked like two pigs in a gunnysack. Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. Her teeth are like stars - they come out at night. Hot as a depot stove.
Hotter than a three-balled tomcat. I feel like I got eat by a bear and shit off a cliff. I feel lower than a bow-legged caterpillar. I got a bad case of the zacklies: I got more things to do than a dog with fleas.
I was as mad as a three-legged dog trying to bury a turd on an icy pond. Is that your head or did your neck throw up? If you fell uqotes a pond, you could skim off ugly quoes a rednwck. Keep skunks and bankers at a distance. Last wuotes I saw a mouth suotes that it uqotes a bit in it. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump. Like a garlic milkshake: Lower than an ankle bracelet on a flat-footed pigmy. Cutf as a box of frogs. Madder than an Amish electrician. Marriage is an Cute redneck quotes way for a man to get his laundry done for free. Mean as the alligator when the pond went dry. Meaner than an old wet hen. More fun than a sackful of kittens and a lump hammer. Nervous as a bear caught with his head in the hive.
Never lay an angry hand on a kid or an animal. Never try to teach a pig how to dance. No matter what you do to a skunk, it still stinks. Nuttier than a five-pound fruitcake. Nuttier than a port-o-potty at a peanut festival. Nuttier than a squirrel turd. Only thing alive at that house with all its teeth is the termites. Plumb eat up with the dubm -ass. You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. If the Lord had meant us to fly, He would have given us aluminum skin. Excuses are like backsides. Are You a Redneck? Well, you wanted funny redneck sayings and now you have some. Do you wonder if you are a redneck? The following may help you decide. You may be a redneck if: You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education.
Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.